You may think I got in a fight with my Dad, by that title. Maybe you think I’m immature or thin-skinned or just ridiculous for even considering “defriending” my Dad on the Facebook. What kind of petty son does something like that?
But, you see, it’s none of the above. I’ve actually never gotten into a fight with my Dad (and I never ever will. Ever). I don’t think he’s ever even hurt my feelings (and I can guarantee you that he never, ever ever will). And the stupid Facebook came into existence so far into both our lives that even the idea of interacting on the Facebook is silly, besides. And no, even if one of us did get mad, or hurt the feelings of the other, we’d never stoop so low (nor waste our time) “defriending” on the FB.
No, the reason I’m considering defriending is because my Dad is dead. While today mark’s his birthday — which the Facebook so painfully reminded me of — he died on February 14th, 2014. I have thought sometimes about why he even still has a presence on social media, especially on the FB. I have tried hard to just be open minded about it — it’s a way of remembering him; it’s a good way to go back and see pictures and stuff; it’s a way for others to keep him in mind. But I never went back to his FB page. Except for today.
I think the reality actually is that we are so afraid of death and “disappearing” that we can’t bring ourselves to make a choice, of our own volition, to acknowledge that — though every moment is a miracle — nothing lasts forever and when we blink out, that is it. Defriending is a vote in favor of this reprehensible plan that has us all living, struggling to be “happy”, making friends, becoming devoted — only to see it all torn away at various random painful moments and then asked to carry on until we, ourselves, are just torn away form this Earthly plane.
I think, though, that the best way of managing this charade is to do two things — first, let’s all just agree that everymomentisamiracle; and, second, take action which acknowledges that it all goes away — all. You. Me. Sun. Earth. In other words, defriend the dead if the account cannot be deactivated — but by all means deactivate the account upon the person’s passing — or if absolutely necessary leave it up for one year at most during a classical grieving period. But wear black that whole year, too, then.
Take care to remember those who have gone on. But don’t linger in fear and inaction during this short time while the Earth still holds you in it’s capricious beautiful grasp. Be not afraid of that nightfall that will consume each one of us. For everymomentisamiracle, but only if your moments are not consumed by fear and delusion.